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Added to the bowties, long lunches and overpaid egos, expect little return on investment when you contract out to an advertising agency. Sure, you’ll see sleek design meet clever copy but rarely will the two play for the good of raising your bottom line.

Ad Men play for awards, back slaps and big accounts. They talk about fans not dollars, and exposure not margin. They toss around puns and sketch for the eye. They take the long way round and bill big. They rinse out young talent and cut them when they crack.

Creatives are for the screen, books and canvas. They don’t sell products. Leave the Ad Men for big-bellied brands with fat wallets.